Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day Dad!

Dear Dad,

I'm not even sure where to start. I sit here looking at that picture of us on my 3rd birthday and am filled with so many emotions.

I wish I could sit here with you today, on Father's Day, laughing about silly things from the past.

I wish the memory of mom trying to brush my long curly hair and me screaming out for you, only to have you run and wrap me in your arms, didn't seem so far away.

I wish things had been different that day and that someone else would have told you to put your seatbelt on, just like mom did.

I wish you could have been there the day I had my two bottom front teeth pulled in 1st grade. I'm sure you would have taken me for ice cream afterwards, just like mom did.

I wish you were there when I had chicken pox during Spring Break in 2nd grade. I'm sure you would have put calamine lotion all over my itchy spots, just like mom did.

I wish you could have been there when my beloved dog Muffy died in 4th grade to hug me and tell me it was ok, just like mom did.

I wish you had been there when that stupid boy teased me and tormented me in 7th grade to tell me not to pay attention to him because I was absolutely beautiful and intellgent, just like mom did.

I wish you could have driven me to my first day of high school and told me everything would be ok even though I was SO nervous, just like mom did.

I wish you would have been there when I made drill team and I screamed out in excitement and took me to celebrate afterwards, just like mom did.

I wish you could have been there when I walked across that stage after making it over some major hurdles and cried with me, just like mom did.

I wish you had been there when I decided not to go to college after high school and told me that it was ok because I would succeed at whatever I decided, just like mom did.

I wish you would have been there when I went looking for love in all the wrong places to hold me and dry my tears, just like mom did.

I wish you had been there when Joey got on one knee and asked me to marry him and give your permission, just like mom did.

I wish you could have seen me on my wedding day, wearing the same veil mom wore at your wedding, and walked me down the aisle, just like mom did.

I wish you could have been there when Nikki had her baby girl, and talked her through it letting her know how much she was loved, just like mom did.

I wish you were here to hold me everytime a pregnancy test comes back negative and I break down in tears.

I wish you could see me walk across the stage in December, the first to graduate college in our family.

I wish I could spend just one day with you, as an adult, and hear you say you love me and are proud of me.

I wish you were here.

I love you daddy and I miss you more than words can say.

Love,

Britt






3 comments:

one-hit_wonder said...

Oh, Britt, this brought tears to my eyes. Father's Day must be impossibly painful for you on so many levels. I really wish I could give you a hug.

xxx

Taylor said...

This post was beautiful. I'm praying for you today.

The Bargainista said...

I feel the same way about missing Dad! I wish I had even one memory of him, but I dont. But I know that he was there for all of those things and that he still loves us and watches over us! :) We both love you dad!